Time Management for Busy Dads: How to free up time for the family: By Roland Poitevin

With our unrelenting focus on work and getting the bills paid we can easily lose sight of the things that really matter in life. In a survey of terminally ill patients none of them wished they'd spent more time working and all of them regretted not spending enough time on their kids and partners. Here are some winning strategies that will help you free up time for the important things in life and still stay on top at work.

Leave work on time. Commit to getting out the door on the dot. Choose one day a week to start with and then build on that success. You need to be assertive about this. Reduce meeting times by scheduling them into half our slots instead of 45 minutes. When you establish the time frame you will find the same amount gets accomplished anyway.

Set yourself a timetable for the drudge work. Having a fixed time for house work pays dividends by giving focus and routine that creates a more efficient outcome and frees up heap of time for the important stuff. If you can, hire a cleaner.

Plan your weekends well. Do not use them for the house hold chores or for work. Treat them as sacred family time.

Use your commute time wisely. Get a voice recorder and use it to dictate ideas while you drive. It won't save you time but it will make you feel like it's time not wasted.

In the work place develop a system to deal with the mountain of paper work. Categorize and separate the documents into different easy to access folders. Start your day by putting notes on each document that direct you quickly into taking the action necessary to deal with them in an efficient manner.

With email set yourself an allotted time one hour after you start your day and limit yourself to logging on only 4 times during the day. Reply once to multiple mails. Finally don't reply to mail after dinner, this is your family time.

Choose the two most important things that need to be accomplished that day and do them. Once these have been dealt with then you can move on to the next task. This will remove any feelings of being overwhelmed and increase your efficiency.

These simple actions will lead naturally to better time management and also reduce stress which means when your family needs you you're going to be there for them in body and mind.

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Simple Ways to Teach Children the Value of Sportsmanship: by Dave Roth

What is sportsmanship?

In our modern society, we tend to idolize the biggest and brightest professional athletes in the world. It’s not hard to do when they earn huge paychecks and endorse the products our children want cell phones, clothes, cereals, etc. While their accomplishments are often impressive, their sportsmanship, or lack thereof, leaves something to be desired. Sportsmanship is, at its core, the essence that partaking in competition is done solely for the enjoyment of the game or sport itself and not for the purpose of winning. It encompasses a sense of fairness, respect, and fellowship with one’s competition.

Yet when we turn to these professional ‘idols,’ far too often we don’t see the sense of sportsmanship that we would prefer to instill in our children. Instead, we are inundated with scandals, arrogance, and controversy. The bigger they are, the harder they fall, as the saying goes. And so it also goes that the more the media hones in on their failures , although they are not failures any one of us couldn’t fall into easily. So how can we teach our children the value of sportsmanship in our modern competitive culture?

The essence of the game

Games for children are meant to teach them rules, competition, and sportsmanship. Far too often, pressure is placed on winning and the rewards for winning far outweigh those that come with finishing second. First and foremost in any competition for children should be the enjoyment of the game, not the score or the final result. Does this mean that all competition should be eliminated? No. What it means is that, for children, sportsmanship should come before competition. We’re hearing more and more that children’s sports aren’t declaring a winning side. While it’s good they want to spare the feelings of the children, kids need to learn about being a good winner and a good loser, because life will certainly teach them that later if not sooner.

Teaching sportsmanship

Teaching children sportsmanship starts with setting an ideal example for them to emulate. If adults focus on the score, become aggravated or too intense when playing a game, then that is imprinted on children watching us. Some simple things to keep in mind to help teach sportsmanship include:

1. Smile and laugh. Regardless of whether you’re winning or losing, keep a positive attitude about the game. Smiling is contagious and when it is associated with the activity and not the result, children will emulate this behavior more often than not.

2. Reward positive participation. Don’t focus on the result. Win or lose, congratulate the child. If the child has a poor attitude or doesn’t acknowledge their competition, then reward should not be granted.

3. Turn their attention to positive role models. Perhaps your child idolizes Terrell Owens. While talented, his behavior and attitude is the precise definition of poor sportsmanship. Point this out and then turn your child onto athletes who personify good sportsmanship.

Choose simple games first

A great way to teach children good sportsmanship is to get them playing simple games, such as bean bags. In fun, relaxing environment, winning isn’t what matters; the moments spent with family and friends is.

Author Resource:-> Dave Roth runs the SC Cornhole Game website, a store devoted to the game of Cornhole. They are suppliers of cornhole bags, corn hole boards, and cornhole sets.

Article From ActiveAuthors.com

When Parents Disagree: by Toni Schutta

You’re right in the middle of disciplining your child. Emotions are running hot. You give your child a consequence for the misbehavior and your spouse steps in and disagrees with how you’re handling the situation. You feel criticized, unsupported and upset. The whole thing goes downhill from there.

It would be impossible for two parents to agree 100 of the time on how to handle misbehavior, so let’s just agree that you’re going to disagree sometimes. You may have different parenting styles, different hot buttons and different expectations than your spouse. That’s understandable. You were raised by different parents and have absorbed certain values and discipline methods that helped shape who you are.

Yet, every day you’re called upon to make decisions regarding your children. So how can the two of you show a united front when it’s necessary, give each other the support that you need and prevent your child from playing you against one another?

This will take a little work, but it’ll be worth the effort. Your children will be your children for many years to come, so taking the time to establish some guidelines now will result in better parenting, less frustration and clearer expectations for your child.

Here are eight tips to guide you.

Tip #1: Reach an agreement to support each other publicly (or at least remain neutral).

You’ve heard about the importance of presenting a united front so your child can’t divide and conquer and it’s true. It’s confusing to your child when you argue about consequences in front of them. Children with a manipulative nature will use the situation to their advantage. Usually what happens is that you get embroiled in your own debate and the discipline action gets forgotten. It also undermines your spouse’s parental authority in front of your child, which is something you
don’t want to do.

Tip #2: Develop a signal.

Let’s say that you strongly disagree with the other parent’s choice of discipline. Agree ahead of time on a signal that you can give that means, “Take a break. Let’s talk about this.” Perhaps making a T sign with your hands to signal a time out would be a good choice.

Tip #3: Talk privately about the child’s offense and how it should be handled.

There are few discipline actions that can’t wait for a few minutes. Taking the time to leave the room and talk privately with your spouse about how to handle the situation is a respectful way of communicating to your spouse that there may be other options to consider. Regardless, you are setting a much needed boundary that this is an adult matter and that the two of you will handle it accordingly.

Tip #4: Check in with the other parent to see if they’ve already made a decision.

Many children will use the one liner, “Dad said that I could” to get what they want. When hearing this line from your child, a wise thing to do is to actually ask the other parent if s/he has already given approval to your child’s request. Again, this demonstrates to your child that as parents you are united and will support each other. Usually your child starts back peddling if s/he is trying to manipulate you.

Tip #5: Develop 3 4 family rules that you can agree to follow up with consistently using the same discipline method.

One of the best methods for two parents to be consistent is to develop a few family rules for behaviors that are most important in your family. For instance, all families should have a rule that “No one’s body will be hurt by hitting, kicking, biting, etc.” A consistent discipline action should be applied by both parents when physical aggression occurs. For complete details on creating family rules and consequences refer to this article:

http://www.familiesfirstcoaching.com/newsletter_november2007.htm

Parents will never agree on how to handle all offenses, but if parents respond consistently to the top three behaviors, it will make a significant impact.

Tip #6: Agree that smaller offenses can be handled at the discretion of the parent in charge.

Once you have your family rules in place, try not to sweat the small stuff. It can be beneficial for children to learn different methods of problem solving and communication, so if your spouse parents a little differently, it may actually benefit your child. For instance, some parents are better at using humor to move through tough situations and if you’re open to it, you can learn what works more
effectively with each child.

Tip #7: Never say, “Wait ‘til your father (or mother) gets home!”

When a statement like this is made it undermines the authority of the parent who says it and makes the other parent the “bad cop.”

It’s important that you both share equally in disciplining your children.

Tip #8: Use positive discipline methods that work.

Many parents use time outs, yell or take away privileges as their top three discipline options. If those methods aren’t working for you it can be frustrating and lead to more arguments if you’re not feeling successful. If you feel like you’ve tried everything and nothing seems to work, you can learn 10 positive discipline methods that work by checking our this resource:

http://www.getparentinghelpnow.com/DisciplineAudio.htm

About the Author: By Toni Schutta, Parent Coach, M.A., L.P. Visit http://www.getparentinghelpnow.com to receive a free copy of “The 7 Worst Mistakes that Parents Make (And How to Avoid Them!). Tune in to “Real Parents. Real Solutions” radio show here: http://www.tinyurl.com/realparentsrealsolutions.

Article Source: ActiveAuthors.com

Baby’s First Overnight Visit With Grandma: by Maria Cummings

Letting grandma care for my baby for an overnight visit was intended to provide me rest. I had never been away from my daughter for any length of time in her short four month old lifetime. Since my mother had been asking for over a month to keep my baby for an overnight visit, I could not put it off any longer. Preparing everything to get her to grandma’s house made me feel like I needed a vacation. Add to all that the stress of being away from my baby for the first time.

Mother had already purchased some baby items to keep are her home, but she did not have everything necessary for an overnight stay. My mind started going over the possibilities. If she needed to go anywhere, the baby travel system with the car seat and the seat base was a necessity. To be useful, it would need to be installed in her car. I knew that she was not planning to go anywhere, but you never know what might come up. The stroller, car seat and base made their way into my vehicle.

My baby rarely falls asleep in he crib, so even though my mom has a play pen which could be used as a crib we did not need it. I usually have to put her in one of my ring slings and wear her around the house until she falls asleep. After she has fallen asleep, I carefully move her to her crib. I brought along one of my ring slings and planned on showing my mother how to use it.

It was our plan to use cloth diapers for our little one. Cloth diapers were used with my older siblings but I was a disposable diaper baby. She thought my decision was like going backwards. my mother had a hard time understanding how much cloth diapers had improved since her days of diapering me. To show her how simple they were to use, I was going to bring along my Fuzzi Bunz cloth diapers. So, in addition to everything else I packed a few cloth diapers and a wet bag and planned to show my mom how to use them.

By the time I was done packing my mini van I needed a rest, but it was time to leave. My mother and I spent over two hours going over everything after heading to her home. When she asked me if I thought she had ever taken care of a baby, I realized it was time to leave. I had taken everything I could to make the overnight visit easy on my daughter and on my mom. I then went back home to prepare for my dinner date with my husband. The dinner was stressful, as I could not stop thinking about my little girl and I called my mom about ten times in just the first two hours. All the worry was for nothing; the visit went very well. My mother had a wonderful time taking care of a little one once again while my daughter slept through the entire night for the first time.

About the Author: Maria Cummings is a mom that has devoted herself to helping kids and families in the community. As Manager of Bustling Baby, Maria enjoys sharing her experience of natural parenting with new parents and supports parents in finding the best natural baby products at ==> http://www.BustlingBaby.com Article Source: ActiveAuthors.com

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The Silent Treatment: by Margaret Paul

Research indicates that children would rather be yelled at than ignored.

When prisoners are being punished, they are put in isolation, because being isolated is one of the harshest punishments there is other than physical abuse.

The silent treatment is a form of punishment, a way to attempt to control children and partners into doing what you want them to do. It is a withdrawal of approval, and can cause much fear in people who are vulnerable to this.

You are giving people the silent treatment when you shut down to them, closing your heart and refusing to interact with them or acknowledge their presence. You act as if they are invisible, not responding to them at all or giving them a very minimal and withheld response. Your hope in treating them this way is that they will get the message that they have displeased you. They have done something wrong in your eyes and deserve to be punished, deserve to have your love taken away.

Of course, what you are taking away is not love at all, since love is unconditional. What you are taking away is your approval, and for children and approval dependent adults, it is a powerful form of control.

THE CONSEQUENCES
While it may seem to you to work for the moment, there are huge negative consequences following the silent treatment. Children feel unloved and unlovable, developing deep beliefs about their inadequacy. While they may comply to avoid your withdrawal of approval, inwardly they are likely to feel lonely and heartbroken feelings that they can’t handle so they become angry and resistant to manage the feelings. Their anger and resistance may show up in others areas that cause problems for them and for you.

While your partner may scurry around to try to please you and get you to reconnect with him or her, the fact that you have so deeply disconnected creates feelings of heartache in your partner that may eventually lead to the end of the relationship. What seems to work for the moment may lead to exactly what you don’t want in the long run.

WHEN YOUR PARTNER IS PUNISHING YOU WITH THE SILENT TREATMENT
What goes on inside you when your partner shuts down to you?

* Do you tell yourself you must have done something wrong?
* Do you feel a sense of loneliness and heartache that feels unbearable?
* Do you feel alone and abandoned inside?
* Do you feel anxious and scared?

If you feel any of these, it is really because you are abandoning yourself and making your partner responsible for you. It is you doing this that is allowing the silent treatment to work to control you.

If you were taking loving care of yourself and taking 100 responsibility for your own feelings, here is what would be going on inside:

* You would be telling yourself: My partner is choosing to punish me rather than take responsibility for his or her feelings. Whatever I may or may not have done that he or she doesn’t like, I am not responsible for how he or she is dealing with it, and I have no control over him or her.

* You would be bringing love inside, letting yourself know that you are a good person and deserving of love.

* You would get out of range of your partner’s energy taking a walk, reading a book, calling a friend, or doing something else to make yourself happy.

* You would keep your own heart open, not going into anger or judgment toward your partner, so that when your partner decides to open again, there is no residue for you. You would not punish your partner for trying to punish you. You would just make sure that their punishment doesn’t work for them.

* You would embrace your loneliness and heartache with deep compassion for yourself, sitting with these feelings for a few minutes and then releasing them to Spirit.

Eventually, when you are truly taking loving care of yourself, others will stop using the silent treatment, since it will no longer work for them.

About the Author: Margaret Paul, Ph.D., best-selling author of 8 books, co-creator of the powerful Inner Bonding® healing process. Join thousands who have discovered real love and intimacy! Learn Inner Bonding now! FREE Inner Bonding course: http://www.innerbonding.com/welcome/relationship_help.html. Phone Sessions. Article Source: ActiveAuthors.com

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What You Need to Teach Your Kids About Money: by Stephanie Hale

Most of us make sure our children learn how to read, write and make good life decisions to prepare them to become responsible adults. What most parents and most schools don’t do, is teach kids about money.

In many families, finances are a personal, private matter not to be discussed. As a result, children leave the nest without the essential skills they need to be financially secure and successful. Whether it’s out of ignorance or fear, this lack of communication perpetuates the cycle of ignorance when it comes to money skills.

You don’t need a degree in economics to teach the basics of money management. A few simple but valuable principles can go a long way in helping your child learn about financial responsibility. The information can help ensure they become self confident, economically independent adults.

What should you do?

Start Early–

Children can grasp basic money concepts by the age of 3 or 4. Once your kids are old enough to count you can begin talking to them about earning, spending and saving. Young children learn early on that money buys them things they want. Teach them that money is what’s valuable, not the toys it buys.

Teach Saving–

You can start by keeping coins in a jar or piggy bank where your child can visually watch their money grow. As they get older, take them to the bank and open a savings account in their name. Having kids set a goal of saving for something specific gives them the opportunity to learn delayed gratification and experience the satisfaction of reaching their goal.

Give an Allowance–

How much depends on the age of the child and what you feel comfortable with. You can assign household chores as part of the allowance to show how money is earned. Some families require a percentage of the allowance go toward savings and charity, and let the child decide what to do with the rest. Regardless of how you set it up, an allowance gives your kids practice handling and making decisions about money.

Share the Household Budget–

Routine things like grocery shopping and bill paying are great opportunities to teach children money concepts. Have them compare prices in the grocery store and show them the receipt. Let them see the bill for your mobile phone and talk about monthly expenses like car insurance and petrol. Sharing your budget will help illustrate the differences between wants and needs and how you make choices about money. When your kids are about to go out on their own for the first time they’ll better understand the expenses involved and what they can afford.

Encourage Older Kids to Get a Job–

An allowance doesn’t have to be the only way for kids to earn money. Start with a lemonade stand or let them sell toys they’ve outgrown at a yard sale. Depending on age, your kids might do yard work for neighbours or offer babysitting services. By holding down such jobs, kids learn about working, earning, saving, and investing money. It also gives them a sense of pride and self confidence.

Teaching your children to manage money is a parental responsibility that will safeguard their future. By starting early, your efforts will bring them lifelong benefits.

About the Author: Get the free ebook 'Millionaire Tips for Women' and other bonus gifts (value over £350 / $575) at http://www.MillionaireWomenMillionaireYou.com. Stephanie J. Hale was once a struggling single mother. Today, she's a successful entrepreneur and speaker, teaching other women how to achieve financial freedom.
Article Source: ActiveAuthors.com

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The Beauty of Motherhood: by Sara Ryan

Being a mother is both a beautiful and challenging life long event. Once you become a mother it never stops, it is eternal. Motherhood can help you find humor out of anything whether is being pooped and peed on, your 5 year old saying his stomach hurts because he has “massage stones” like his grandpa or realizing you haven’t did your hair in a week. Embrace it. They can be the happiest days of your life. You don’t get money from being a mother but you do actually get watch as someone that was once inside of you blossom into an adult. There is no other feeling like that of the maternal urge. So all you mommies to be, get ready. You are in for an experience of a lifetime!

You learn on a daily basis, you make mistakes and you may laugh or cry. Don’t be nervous about having to raise a extension of yourself, some believe that having a child is the end of their life but actually it is a new beginning. You don’t have to completely say good bye to your social life rather you might find the old and the new integrating created a healthy balance for both. Keep in mind that this whole world is new for Baby and you are his/her guide and protector. Don’t be afraid to act silly, make noises or funny faces. Reminisce on how your maternal figure probably made you feel loved and focus on that. Don’t be afraid to nurture or discipline.

Motherhood is your time to find new and innovative ways to raise a healthy, sound minded person. Read up on motherhood issues like potty training, appropriate discipline and developmental techniques. Follow your first mind if it doesn’t sound right for you then don’t force it. Only you will know what you are comfortable with for your child. As time goes on, you will have a routine and then have to change it. It can be frustrating at first but being a mommy teaches versatility and patience. Keep in mind that you are the best mother you can be and practice saying that over and over in your head. It will be needed for those times of insecurity that sometimes come along with parenthood. If you don’t know the answer to some question you may have, ask your own mommy or someone you can get advice that you can trust. Some things re learned by experience, others by asking and some you just stumble upon.

One of the best parts of being “Mommy” is knowing you are giving them the best at all times. The best has nothing to do with materialistic items but more to do with what you are contributing to them as a person. So when the terrible twos, threes and fours hit, be conscious of the fact that you were once a child too. We go through a lot of stages in life but once you are a mother, you will always be one. Enjoy your new path of motherhood.

About the Author: Sara Ryan regularly writes for http://www.tirmassagestone.com, the leading hot stone massage supplies provider. They provide massage stones and many other accessories in the massage industry. Article Source: ActiveAuthors.com

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my bikes....

As i took my 4.5 year old daughter for small ride on her pink bike on a saturday morning , it seemed i was repeating a ritual that my dad did for me some 30 years ago. He had gifted me my first bike some 30 years ago. It was a red colored smaller bike with rims of creme color. Like my daughters one now , which is of course more flashier , it also had two smaller wheels on the sides of rear wheel to prevent me from falling. It had taken me some time to pick it up and learn moving the handle in the right direction , which of course my daughter picked up much faster given the generational shift. While this is chronologically only 3 decades ago , but then in India , seems like eons ago , given the amount of change our generation has seen in last 3 decades. Yet , few things won't change- idle chatter of mine to my dad , is the same which i get from my daughter. As i don't remember all the things i had said to my dad, so won't she later in life. But then , this wont come back to me ever again ....she wont be 4.5 years old again....and i wanted to savour every moment of this , even though , it is so boring to hear her same stories over and over again. It is some divine logic , which makes you feel like holding sand , which you know is slipping and you like it both slipping away and holding it at the same time....i fell in love with my parents once i became a father ...

Moving on to my bikes story ...that was first bike....second one was even better. It was a 6 years old Saine Raliegh cycle which my father had bought in 1971 , when he joined his first job. My mom says that i used to sit in the front rod of the cycle on a small child seat. It was definitely a luxury.And my parents used to walk for kilometers make me have a ride across the small town called Sindri. That cycle gave way to new Vijay Delux scooter parrot green in color , which was added to our family in 1977 , when my younger brother came in. This scooter was my best fantasy come alive with me standing in front of dad holding on to the handle. The air blasting past my ears while dad used to drive was so much of a whizz....i turned 10 , when i tried to first hand on my dad's bicycle. Believe , it was an experience to feel so high perched on the top of the moving metal. I was not tall , so it took me a while before i could climb up the perch easily...which i did eventually and much to my delight , circled around the colony that we lived over so many rounds that in the evening , my mother had to put my legs in salted hot waters to relax my thighs. Then for so many years that was stable companion of sorts , i did most of my home errands on that for my mother. i carried vegetables , took wheat for grinding to the local grinder shops , all on my dad's bicycle. That old man stayed with me for another 20 years , when finally in house , my wife tried to be kind with some local washerman , and gave that to him which he never returned.

Then as i moved to Tata Steel as a GT in 95 , i still remember that first week of August sometime , when all my friends had already bought their Yamaha RX 100 , the bike that stirred our generation, i was destined to purchase a cheaper 4 stroke version of Kawasaki 4S bajaj. But this was a compromise that i had to live with. Yamaha was Yamaha...it could start at the 4 gear directly . Only Yamaha could , others of that generation of bikes could not. It was not era of Pulsars and Hayabushas in India. Yamaha was the best. That synchronous sound of the engine that went past the hostel rooms were so exotic. And yet , each day , i pretended that my 4S was equally good , which i did it was not. Yet , it was faithful , like the wife and Yamaha was the sexy neighbour that i could never my hands on. So much so on Yamaha...even today after 15 years , as i look at old ones whizzing on the road ,not comparable to newer flashy ones , i still cannot get over the high that i gave me then , like an old wine , it gets sweetened with age.

Today , i believe , may be as i would turn 40 , may be , i can purchase the king of the roads the
Royal Enfield Bullet ...may be a show piece , to showcase , my remaining manliness. Indeed , you start needing that 40 onwards perhaps ....

Top 12 Family Fun Activities for Holidays

We all just love holidays, don't we! They provide a great opportunity to spend quality time with family or friends, give in to hobby fever, do some outdoor activities, or just laze around. There are many things we like to do on holidays with the usual ones being travelling, playing indoor or outdoor games, watching movies and believe it or not, sleeping! Though I personally feel sleeping (during the day at least) is such a waste of time. I would rather do something more interesting, like shopping :). I wait and wait for my hubby to be at home on the weekends. And when the weekend comes, hubby dearest keeps dozing off!:)

Enough about that. Here are a few fun activities, some usual and some not so usual, to indulge in with your family on a holiday. You probably do some of these already and you can try those you arent!

Outdoor Fun

1. Travel
Travelling is and will remain the most popular thing to do on a holiday. Be it a weekend trip or a longer vacation, it will break the routine and give you ample time to have fun together as a family. Once on vacation, you can plan for sight seeing, picnics or just simple relaxing around in the hotel. For day visits, you can just pack everyone into the car and go to the zoo, the beach, the botanical gardens or an easy choice, the local park.

2. Sports
Outdoor sports are a great way to bond with your loved ones and keep fit. Choose any game that your family enjoys such as football, baseball, tennis or cricket or for the more adventurous, rafting, surfing, rock climbing, paragliding or skiing. Let each of you choose the family fun sports for the holiday, turn by turn.

3. Community Service
Volunteer for a community service in your neighbourhood. You can help out in a retirement home or a homeless shelter. You can also collect and donate useful stuff to needy people. These activities will teach your children the value of sharing and give them a sense of social responsibility.

4. Star Gazing
Star gazing with your family is a cool way to learn exciting things about the sky as well as spend quality time together. On a clear night, you can look for the brightest stars and figure out the constellations. And, if you have a telescope, you can delve deeper. Look at the moon and search for the planets. Your kids will love it for sure.

5. Exercise
Exercise as a family. This will make exercise fun. Yoga, aerobics, jogging or swimming, whatever it is that you can do and enjoy together, do it. All of you can lead the exercise routine, turn by turn.

6. Shopping
This never goes out of style. Its fun to go shopping with family especially for stuff that you would use together at home. Maybe a new stereo system or a new computer. Good idea! Perhaps we'll go stereo system hunting this week. Actually, shopping for clothes together isn't all that bad too, though your kids may feel otherwise, especially if they are at the 'I am grown up now' age :)

Indoor Fun

1. House Work
Though these might seem more like work, believe me, if you do it together in the right spirit, it will be fun!
>> Painting - Paint the children's room or the garden fence. Children running around in their paint-laden overalls..thats a 'Kodak' moment for sure!
>> Gardening - Plant new roses or attend to existing flowers. Let your children plant some seeds themselves. As their plant grows, watch their faces light up.
>> Cooking - Make your kids head chefs and assist them to cook a meal for all of you. Extra cookies for them if the meal turns out great! Dad dear can cook too, if he wants, or if Mom pushes him to :)
>> Arranging Photos - Bundles of photos piled up in no particular order! Those memories need more respect. Gather together, sort them out, laugh at the old ones and put them in albums. Sure, you have many of them on your computer too. Its a digital age after all. But nothing beats the good ol' photo album, right?

2. Build Together
Building something as a family is exciting and gives you a sense of achievement as a team. Be it a school project, an aeroplane model, a handicraft decoration for the living room or a family jigsaw puzzle, do it together and see how much fun you have. Reward yourselves with icecream when you successfully complete what you started.

3. Reading Time
Have a family reading session, at least, once every week. You can get together to read aloud stories or general material. Select different themes every week - entertainment, religious, spiritual or educational.

4. Watch Movies
Watch TV or movies together. You can have a small home theatre show with comfy pillows and a big bowl of popcorn. Its really nice to watch old home movies together too: weddings, birthdays, the baby's first step, grandpa snoring and the like :)

5. Photography
Who says the camera can come out of its case on special occasions and when you go out? Any day can be 'snap' day. Photograph each other in jazzy costumes, funny poses and doing silly stuff. Fun to shoot and fun to watch later!

6. Gossip
Last but not the least, get together and gossip! Nothing mean, you know, just fun stuff about your relatives, neighbours or friends. Nothing like relaxing with a cup of coffee/tea or milk (for kids, I mean) and talking about others :)

Of course, there is other fun stuff you can do, but I jotted down the ones I liked. You are welcome to share other fun stuff you do with your family, in the comments section.

Bringing up children: what’s the right way?

We all bring up our children in the way we think best. But who is to say which is the right way and which isn’t. This topic requires so much insight and experience that I thought it best to put forth few thoughts based on the teachings of one of the greatest spiritual Gurus.

Bringing children into the world and bringing them up is not only one of nature’s most wonderful gifts to us, but it is also one of our biggest responsibilities. And to make sure that we, as parents, do this right, here are a few insights which may help all of us in becoming better parents.

1. Share responsibility of children and train them at home

Both mother and father should share responsibility in bringing up the child. Even though the child may possibly be spending more time with his mother, the father should play his role of being a good parent as well.

The proper training of children begins at home, not at school. Raising children is truly difficult these days. But it is our duty to protect, guide and care for the children we bring into this world. If we plant a small tree in our garden, and we want it to grow healthily, we must be there to support it and protect it in all types of weather. It’s the same for children. To fully blossom, they need nurturing through love, guidance and understanding that only parents can give them.

2. Discipline your children

Children need discipline. This does not mean beating them, which should never be done! We should guide our children with firmness, but also love and patience. As once said, “These little ones cannot express discrimination and understanding, even though these qualities are innate in the soul”.

Children should be taught the right attitude and the right behavior which will stay with them as a support system for the rest of their lives.

3. Build the right relationship

We should build the right relationship with our children. In an effort to come closer to them, some parents try to become one of them. This may work to some extent, but not completely. Children should learn to love and respect us as parents. This doesn’t mean we cannot have fun with our kids; this just means we should be responsible parents.

4. Communicate openly

We need to be approachable to our children. They should feel that they can talk to us, confide in us and be truthful. If we give a child a hard time because he had the courage to come and tell us something we didn’t like, this could turn him away forever. He might look for another confidant or worse, turn to something ‘else’ for comfort which is definitely not what we want. Good rapport with children should begin in the early years.

Parents should spend time to talk with their children in a language that they can understand. Instead of just saying “Don’t do it”, explain why. We need to reason out with them instead of simply asking them to obey orders.

5. Make your children responsible; don’t pamper them too much

Parents should guide children such that it helps them to develop skills and responsibility. Else, they may grow up to be careless and unreliable, who would not know how to teach their own children. Bad habits are passed from generation to generation.

Children should learn at an early age that nothing comes without effort. One has to earn what he receives in this world. Parents should teach the child that he should contribute his part to the family, to his friends and to his community.

If a child is given a task to do, parents should see to it that he fulfills it. This includes simple things like clearing up the mess in his/her room before sleeping at night. Insist that he do this, without spanking him/her. Once good habits have been formed, children will automatically continue to do so. Young ones will do what is asked if they feel they are contributing and helping out. Give them praise and encouragement, make them want to do it. But make sure that the responsibility given to the child is as per his capability. You can give rewards for good behavior or good work done in certain situations. This may not be the best thing to do, but works in most cases!

Parents often indulge in their children too much. We should give our child a chance to achieve on his own, to learn from his own success and failures and meet the challenges of life, but with our strong support. By giving in to all his whims, we cannot ensure that he or she will be happy always and may in the long run, hamper his progress.

6. Don’t impose yourself

Children should be allowed to develop their own personalities. We must be there to give them the right sense of direction and the right principles. But we should not overshadow their lives completely by forcing them to become us.

7. Teach your children to pray

It will be a good thing if from early on parents and children pray together before going to bed. A child who is taught to pray for self and others loves it and does it throughout life. It teaches the young one to have faith in God, be thankful for what he has been given in life and care for others.

***
Probably, the best thing we can do in raising our children successfully is to lead by example. If our children see the good results of following the standards we set in our life, they will respect us and listen to us. Amen to that!

First Day of School Checklist - The Top 10 Things to Do

Do you remember your first day of school? Well, I don't..But I am sure many of you remember your little one's first day of school (those who have kids of course), just like I will remember my little boy's, for a long time to come. He probably did not realise how special an event it was. But I was nervous and excited days before he had to go; it seemed like I had to prepare for so much, quite a lot of it on the emotional front I guess. More than readying him, I had to prepare myself for this journey he was about to begin, which would continue for many years to come and would play a big part in shaping up his personality. There probably is lots of information on the internet about what to do before your child's first day of school. I just thought I would add my bit and put it all in once place. I did some thinking earlier on and made a mental checklist of what I needed to do, and it did help me quite a bit. So here goes...

1. Mental Preparation:
First and foremost, you and your kid both need to be ready for this! First target yourself :) You need to be prepared for your child to be away from you, in the care of others, even if its for a few hours everyday; of course, more so, if you are a stay-at-home mom. You have to understand that he will be learning many more things now, will be meeting more kids now and may in fact become naughtier :) Its all a part of the game, sigh..thats what I had to tell myself. It was not easy, let me tell you. As far as your baby is concerned, its better to start preparing him/her earlier on so that he gets all excited about going to school. We took our little boy along with us when we started our survey of schools (step 2 below). This was a few months before he actually started going to school. We kept telling him how much fun it was going to be and how he would make many friends and play with them. The first day he was very happy and in fact, wasn't ready to come back home after school :)

2. Survey:
Look around, ask around; find out about the good schools in your area. Its great if the school is near your house, for many reasons, but that of course is not the only criteria. The school needs to have a good reputation, especially if its a preparatory school, pre-school if you will, like we have where we live. Such schools are stepping stones to the proper school that your child will be enrolled into when he is around 4-5 years of age. Of course, this concept varies from place to place. Visit the schools, talk to their principals and check out what kind of schooling philosophy is in place, i.e, their ideas about learning, teaching concepts, aids, facilities etc. At this age, your child should be made to feel comfortable in school, as its his first step outside home, without you, especially true for kids with stay-at-home moms. I have selected a good school in the vicinity where learning is done through various kinds of fun activities without putting undue pressure on them.

3. Shopping:
Next you make a small list of items you need to purchase and go shopping. Was one of my favorite parts of this whole exercise. Most likely, this would include a school bag, lunch box, water bottle/sipper, crayons and new clothes surely:) Make sure that you check with the teacher in charge about the things you need to put in his/her bag. They might have some tips for you such as sending napkins and a change of clothes/undergarments for smaller kids. Some schools may provide joining kits which include a school bag and some other stuff, so its better to check before you purchase. It may be a good idea to take your kid alongwith you for the shopping in case he/she has his own choice of colours for his bag/bottle etc. And perhaps you could buy him/her a toy as a 'first day of school' gift :)

4. Labels:
Make sure you label everything with your kid's name. Things are likely to get mixed up in school, so labeling is required. Sticky labels will do for bags, but for lunch boxes and water bottles, you need to write with permanent markers, as these things would be washed regularly. Though through personal experience, what works better than permanent markers is nailpolish! (i.e. if you dont mind writing with it!)

5. Toilet Training:
Oh now the scariest of them all :) I was really worried about this & am still worried to some extent. Though he has grasped everything pretty quickly, my son took a long time to get toilet-trained. We tried for long, but he got trained only about a month before he had to begin school and it was only at home that he did tell us. He wore diapers whenever we went out somewhere. Its better to keep reminding your child that when in school, he needs to inform his teacher when he wishes to go. Also, check when you are school hunting, what the school policy is about this point. Where we live, some schools do not allow diapers, and some do. Luckily, the school we chose was not rigid about it. I was advised to send him in diapers for the first week, and then without. They were ready to take care of wet accidents, and assured me that he would settle down in a few days. Its working out alright as of now, but I do have to send a change of clothes.

6. Lunch/Snack Box:
No junk food! Its convenient, sure, but is unhealthy and if you give it sometime, the kid would take it for granted that he would always get to eat such stuff during snack time. Then, when you give something healthy, he might not eat it. Nowadays, teachers stress on healthy snacks too, so that kind of helps.

7. School Work:
Make it a practice to check your child's bag when you take out his lunch box after school. More often than not, there will your child's school work that day (his drawings etc) in it and/or a teacher's note. This is more applicable to pre-school kids I think. It will be very encouraging for the child if you appreciate the work he has done at school and also a good idea to keep his all work carefully. The set will serve as good memories later :)

8. Talk after school:
After school, do spend time with your child and ask him/her what he/she did at school and listen to a whole list of things he will tell you. Its fun, isnt it, when they just babble on :) Some part of it you may not understand, depending on how old your child is, but its fun nevertheless plus it assures him that you are a part of his school life too.

9. Good word for the teachers:
Time and again, put in a good word for the class teacher while talking to your kid. Tell him or her she is very nice and will take care of him and he should listen to her carefully. It will help the teacher in class.

10. Routine:
Last but not the least, do not forget to set a routine for your kid. He/she should be sleeping early and getting up early. Try to set up the routine days before he starts going to school so that its easier for the child to adjust.

I hope this helps some moms out there. And if you have some more experiences to share, do add a post or a comment.

Getting Along With Others

Found few inspiring insights from the writings of the great Guru Paramahansa Yogananda; thought it would be a great start to the blog. He wrote the following about getting along with others.

The greatest of all happiness, next to divine happiness, is to be at peace with one's immediate relations, those with whom one must live every day in the year. When people try to handle the extremely complicated machinery of human feelings without any training whatsoever, the consequent results are often disastrous. Very few persons realize that most of our happiness lies in the art of understanding the law of human behavior. That is why so many people are often "in hot water" with their friends, and, worse yet, at constant war with their own best beloved ones at home.

The basic law of right human behavior is self-reform....Whenever any trouble occurs with our friends or dear ones, we should inwardly lay the blame on ourselves for getting into an unpleasant situation and then try to get out of it as fast and as graciously as we can. It is fruitless to increase the trouble by loudly, unkindly, discourteously blaming others, even though we find that they are to blame. We can teach quick-tempered dear ones to mend their faults a hundred times better by setting a good example than we can by harsh or self-righteous words.

Something to dwell upon, isnt it?

Relationships - Tough, aren't they?

We may love them or we may hate them, but we just cannot ignore them. Our relationships are as much a part of our existence as perhaps mother nature. Keeping them nurtured is probably never easy, but we still need to, to be able to lead a normal happy life.

Be it with parents, friends, spouse, siblings or colleagues, we have our share of great times, good times, bad times and sometimes really testing times! Sigh..what can be done about it, thats just how life is.

A husband and wife love to spend time with each other, but also need their individual space. A mother strives to make her kid independent, but when he or she does, feels left out. An employer wants to be friends with his or her employees, but only to a certain extent, so that his authority is not compromised. Any of this sound familiar?

Lets come together in handling these tough but beautiful gifts of God. Surely, you have some good memories spent with your loved ones that you may want to share with others. Or you may be stuck in some tough spot you want to get out of and discuss with others in similar situations. Yet again, you may have resolved some relationship problems and may have tips to help others resolve theirs.

You are welcome to comment on a post, or write a post yourself. Just send me a message if you wish to post for my blog.

Come, share with us.. !