The Story of Christmas Stockings

Since the Christmas season is upon us, I will be adding a few interesting stories about Christmas or stories related to this great occasion, in the coming days. Here is the first one..

The stockings were hung by the chimney with careIn hopes that Saint Nicholas soon would be there"There was a kindly nobleman whose wife had died of an illness leaving the nobleman and his three daughters in despair. After losing all his money in useless and bad inventions the family had to move into a peasant's cottage, where the daughters did their own cooking, sewing and cleaning. When it came time for the daughters to marry, the father became even more depressed as his daughters could not marry without dowries, money and property given to the new husband's family. One night after the daughters had washed out their clothing they hung their stockings over the fireplace to dry. That night Saint Nicholas, knowing the despair of the father, stopped by the nobleman's house. Looking in the window Saint Nicholas saw that the family had gone to bed. He also noticed the daughters stockings. Inspiration struck Saint Nicholas and he took three small bags of gold from his pouch and threw them one by one down the chimney and they landed in the stockings. The next morning when the daughters awoke they found their stockings contained enough gold for them to get married. The nobleman was able to see his three daughters marry and he lived a long and happy life.

Children all over the world continue the tradition of hanging Christmas stockings. In some countries children have similar customs, in France the children place their shoes by the fireplace, a tradition dating back to when children wore wooden peasant shoes. In Holland the children fill their shoes with hay and a carrot for the horse of Sintirklass. In Hungary children shine their shoes before putting them near the door or a window sill. Italian children leave their shoes out the night before Epiphany, January 5, for La Befana the good witch. And in Puerto Rico children put greens and flowers in small boxes and place them under their beds for the camels of the Three Kings.

Source: Christmasbuzz.com

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10 Tips for Becoming a Great Boss: by Wally Bock

Here are ten tips that tell you what to do if you want to become a great boss.

1. Manage behavior and performance. Behavior is what people say and do. Performance is the measurable result of work. Forget about managing attitude. Forget about motivating others. Instead, use what you say and do to influence the behavior and performance of the people who work for you.

2. Set clear expectations. Your people can't do what you want if they're not clear about what you want. Learn to give good directions. Check for understanding. Set reasonable expectations. Ideally, you want to set goals that force people to stretch just a little bit, but that are still within their grasp. Try to help your people grow through a series of small wins.

3. Check on performance regularly. That's the only way you'll know how people are doing. Check more frequently on people who are learning a task or who are doing it again after a long layoff. Check less frequently on people who have demonstrated their competence in a task.

4. Give helpful feedback. Do this in four steps. Describe the behavior in non-judgmental terms. Describe the outcome of the behavior. Pause and allow for subordinate reaction and comment. Then determine how things will be different the next time.

5. Keep things interesting. Workers won't stay engaged unless they find their work interesting. Sometimes the work itself has intrinsic interest. But, more often, the way to keep people interested is to help them keep learning and developing. Tell people why their work is important. People want to be part of something that is bigger than they are. Tell them how their work contributes to the team and to team success. Tell them how the performance of the team contributes to the success of the company or how it helps achieve a big goal.

6. Describe and deliver the consequences of performance. Consequences are what happens to people because of their behavior or performance.

Positive consequences (like praise) encourage people to continue something new or difficult. Most managers don't use positive consequences enough. Positive consequences should be delivered frequently, but inconsistently. In other words, look for opportunities to praise behavior or performance, but don't praise every good thing you see. Negative consequences (like punishment) encourage people to stop or avoid doing something. Negative consequences should be delivered consistently. In other words, if you tell a subordinate that a certain behavior or performance level will result in a negative consequence, make sure you deliver the consequence if it's justified.

7. Be fair. People perceive a workplace to be fair when consequences and performance match up. A trainee of mine once put this is quasi-Biblical terms: "The just should be rewarded and the unjust should be punished in accordance with their deeds."

8. Give your people the maximum control possible over their work life. Let them make as many basic decisions about their work life as is reasonable and possible. So, what's reasonable? A worker who has the skill to do the job and who regularly pitches in to help (what we call an engaged worker) can be trusted to make more work decisions than a less experienced or less engaged worker. Match your willingness to grant freedom to the worker's ability and willingness to do the job.

9. Show up a lot. This is the single defining behavior of great supervisors. When you show up a lot you get to know your people and they get to know you. And every contact is an opportunity for you to coach, counsel, encourage, and correct.

10. Play the odds. You can't win them all in management or in life. But you can follow this advice from the American writer Ring Lardner. "The race may not always be to the swift, nor victory to the strong, but that's the way to bet."

There's good news and bad news here. Let's do the bad news first. You can't win them all. No matter how good a job you do, there will be people who won't do what they're supposed to. There will be situations that don't work out well. Now for the good news. If you do the basics consistently and well, over time you'll be the person with the greatest impact on a work team's productivity and morale. And that's something to feel really good about.

About The Author
Wally Bock is an author, speaker, consultant and coach who helps leaders improve the performance and morale of their teams. This material is adapted from Wally's latest book, Performance Talk: The One-on-One Part of Leadership (http://www.performancetalk.com). He also writes the Three Star Leadership Blog (http://blog.threestarleadership.com/). You'll also find tips and resources about all aspects of leadership at the Three Star Leadership site (http://www.threestarleadership.com/).

When Parents Disagree: by Toni Schutta

You’re right in the middle of disciplining your child. Emotions are running hot. You give your child a consequence for the misbehavior and your spouse steps in and disagrees with how you’re handling the situation. You feel criticized, unsupported and upset. The whole thing goes downhill from there.

It would be impossible for two parents to agree 100 of the time on how to handle misbehavior, so let’s just agree that you’re going to disagree sometimes. You may have different parenting styles, different hot buttons and different expectations than your spouse. That’s understandable. You were raised by different parents and have absorbed certain values and discipline methods that helped shape who you are.

Yet, every day you’re called upon to make decisions regarding your children. So how can the two of you show a united front when it’s necessary, give each other the support that you need and prevent your child from playing you against one another?

This will take a little work, but it’ll be worth the effort. Your children will be your children for many years to come, so taking the time to establish some guidelines now will result in better parenting, less frustration and clearer expectations for your child.

Here are eight tips to guide you.

Tip #1: Reach an agreement to support each other publicly (or at least remain neutral).

You’ve heard about the importance of presenting a united front so your child can’t divide and conquer and it’s true. It’s confusing to your child when you argue about consequences in front of them. Children with a manipulative nature will use the situation to their advantage. Usually what happens is that you get embroiled in your own debate and the discipline action gets forgotten. It also undermines your spouse’s parental authority in front of your child, which is something you
don’t want to do.

Tip #2: Develop a signal.

Let’s say that you strongly disagree with the other parent’s choice of discipline. Agree ahead of time on a signal that you can give that means, “Take a break. Let’s talk about this.” Perhaps making a T sign with your hands to signal a time out would be a good choice.

Tip #3: Talk privately about the child’s offense and how it should be handled.

There are few discipline actions that can’t wait for a few minutes. Taking the time to leave the room and talk privately with your spouse about how to handle the situation is a respectful way of communicating to your spouse that there may be other options to consider. Regardless, you are setting a much needed boundary that this is an adult matter and that the two of you will handle it accordingly.

Tip #4: Check in with the other parent to see if they’ve already made a decision.

Many children will use the one liner, “Dad said that I could” to get what they want. When hearing this line from your child, a wise thing to do is to actually ask the other parent if s/he has already given approval to your child’s request. Again, this demonstrates to your child that as parents you are united and will support each other. Usually your child starts back peddling if s/he is trying to manipulate you.

Tip #5: Develop 3 4 family rules that you can agree to follow up with consistently using the same discipline method.

One of the best methods for two parents to be consistent is to develop a few family rules for behaviors that are most important in your family. For instance, all families should have a rule that “No one’s body will be hurt by hitting, kicking, biting, etc.” A consistent discipline action should be applied by both parents when physical aggression occurs. For complete details on creating family rules and consequences refer to this article:

http://www.familiesfirstcoaching.com/newsletter_november2007.htm

Parents will never agree on how to handle all offenses, but if parents respond consistently to the top three behaviors, it will make a significant impact.

Tip #6: Agree that smaller offenses can be handled at the discretion of the parent in charge.

Once you have your family rules in place, try not to sweat the small stuff. It can be beneficial for children to learn different methods of problem solving and communication, so if your spouse parents a little differently, it may actually benefit your child. For instance, some parents are better at using humor to move through tough situations and if you’re open to it, you can learn what works more
effectively with each child.

Tip #7: Never say, “Wait ‘til your father (or mother) gets home!”

When a statement like this is made it undermines the authority of the parent who says it and makes the other parent the “bad cop.”

It’s important that you both share equally in disciplining your children.

Tip #8: Use positive discipline methods that work.

Many parents use time outs, yell or take away privileges as their top three discipline options. If those methods aren’t working for you it can be frustrating and lead to more arguments if you’re not feeling successful. If you feel like you’ve tried everything and nothing seems to work, you can learn 10 positive discipline methods that work by checking our this resource:

http://www.getparentinghelpnow.com/DisciplineAudio.htm

About the Author: By Toni Schutta, Parent Coach, M.A., L.P. Visit http://www.getparentinghelpnow.com to receive a free copy of “The 7 Worst Mistakes that Parents Make (And How to Avoid Them!). Tune in to “Real Parents. Real Solutions” radio show here: http://www.tinyurl.com/realparentsrealsolutions.

Article Source: ActiveAuthors.com

10 Romantic Thanksgiving Ideas For Couples: by Kathy Smith

Thanksgiving usually has been thought as this family event where large and abundant meals, families & football games were the main centerpiece during this Thanksgiving holiday season.

There're are a lot of things that need to be done during this season that you'd probably end up busy and you might end up neglecting your partner/relationship because of this Thanksgiving season. It shouldn't be the case. You should have time to insert a bit of romance and also let your partner feel how special he/she is to you during Thanksgiving.

Below are 10 ideas to give your partner and your love relationship that romantic spark that it needs:

1) Have fun cooking together

If both you & your partner enjoy the pleasures of cooking then do set a bit of time aside for both of you where you could try and cook for each other and enjoy the Thanksgiving treats that you'll each be preparing.

2) Be a date to somebody else

You could try and volunteer to be somebody else's date so you could probably help a person not be alone during this holiday season. This could make you more thankful with all your blessings and not focus on the many problems.

3) Attending that service during Thanksgiving

Be sure to attend at least 1 service then make this as the time for reflection.

4) Watch that festive parade during Thanksgiving

You and your partner could both watch the parade together before going on to having that Thanksgiving party dinner with either of your families. This ensures a bit of together time well before all of your families intrude in.

5) Have an unusual date by exercising with your partner

Do the unusual date by exercising together. Go biking around the neighborhood or you could also go to gym together. This will actually assist you in shedding off holiday fats as well as give both you and your partner some quality time as well.

6) Go driving around the countryside

You and your partner both should sneak out at sometime and just go for that leisurely drive in your car on the countryside. It will give lots of alone time with each other before you tackle Thanksgiving dinner with family.

7) Play the "Twister" game

You could both play this game when your day is about to close to ending just to really unwind a bit from all that chaotic but happy hustle & bustle that is Thanksgiving.

8) Cozying with the fireplace

Turn your fireplace on, make some really good cocoa, turn your lights down then play some really good and soothing music. These quiet moments are really the most sweet and romantic times.

9) Watching/attending a game of football

This can be made into a tradition or you could do this just once. You could either watch it on TV or you could attend it personally with your partner on the ball field. Either way, you'd be sure to have fun!

10) Prepare that private celebration for you guys on Thanksgiving!

Spend really quality time with your partner by having that romantic Thanksgiving dinner celebration for just the 2 of you. Make it really special and be sure to appreciate your partner and be really thankful because you have each other.

There are lots of things which you can do with your partner on Thanksgiving holidays to keep that fire burning even during this holiday season where family is the priority. Enjoy !

About The Author: Kathy is a food Lover! You can check out her very popular Thanksgiving Recipes website where she shares some of her Vegan Thanksgiving Recipes and Vegetarian Thanksgiving Recipes on http://www.quickthanksgivingrecipes.com
Article Source: http://www.articlecity.com/articles/relationships/article_3352.shtml

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Baby’s First Overnight Visit With Grandma: by Maria Cummings

Letting grandma care for my baby for an overnight visit was intended to provide me rest. I had never been away from my daughter for any length of time in her short four month old lifetime. Since my mother had been asking for over a month to keep my baby for an overnight visit, I could not put it off any longer. Preparing everything to get her to grandma’s house made me feel like I needed a vacation. Add to all that the stress of being away from my baby for the first time.

Mother had already purchased some baby items to keep are her home, but she did not have everything necessary for an overnight stay. My mind started going over the possibilities. If she needed to go anywhere, the baby travel system with the car seat and the seat base was a necessity. To be useful, it would need to be installed in her car. I knew that she was not planning to go anywhere, but you never know what might come up. The stroller, car seat and base made their way into my vehicle.

My baby rarely falls asleep in he crib, so even though my mom has a play pen which could be used as a crib we did not need it. I usually have to put her in one of my ring slings and wear her around the house until she falls asleep. After she has fallen asleep, I carefully move her to her crib. I brought along one of my ring slings and planned on showing my mother how to use it.

It was our plan to use cloth diapers for our little one. Cloth diapers were used with my older siblings but I was a disposable diaper baby. She thought my decision was like going backwards. my mother had a hard time understanding how much cloth diapers had improved since her days of diapering me. To show her how simple they were to use, I was going to bring along my Fuzzi Bunz cloth diapers. So, in addition to everything else I packed a few cloth diapers and a wet bag and planned to show my mom how to use them.

By the time I was done packing my mini van I needed a rest, but it was time to leave. My mother and I spent over two hours going over everything after heading to her home. When she asked me if I thought she had ever taken care of a baby, I realized it was time to leave. I had taken everything I could to make the overnight visit easy on my daughter and on my mom. I then went back home to prepare for my dinner date with my husband. The dinner was stressful, as I could not stop thinking about my little girl and I called my mom about ten times in just the first two hours. All the worry was for nothing; the visit went very well. My mother had a wonderful time taking care of a little one once again while my daughter slept through the entire night for the first time.

About the Author: Maria Cummings is a mom that has devoted herself to helping kids and families in the community. As Manager of Bustling Baby, Maria enjoys sharing her experience of natural parenting with new parents and supports parents in finding the best natural baby products at ==> http://www.BustlingBaby.com Article Source: ActiveAuthors.com

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The Silent Treatment: by Margaret Paul

Research indicates that children would rather be yelled at than ignored.

When prisoners are being punished, they are put in isolation, because being isolated is one of the harshest punishments there is other than physical abuse.

The silent treatment is a form of punishment, a way to attempt to control children and partners into doing what you want them to do. It is a withdrawal of approval, and can cause much fear in people who are vulnerable to this.

You are giving people the silent treatment when you shut down to them, closing your heart and refusing to interact with them or acknowledge their presence. You act as if they are invisible, not responding to them at all or giving them a very minimal and withheld response. Your hope in treating them this way is that they will get the message that they have displeased you. They have done something wrong in your eyes and deserve to be punished, deserve to have your love taken away.

Of course, what you are taking away is not love at all, since love is unconditional. What you are taking away is your approval, and for children and approval dependent adults, it is a powerful form of control.

THE CONSEQUENCES
While it may seem to you to work for the moment, there are huge negative consequences following the silent treatment. Children feel unloved and unlovable, developing deep beliefs about their inadequacy. While they may comply to avoid your withdrawal of approval, inwardly they are likely to feel lonely and heartbroken feelings that they can’t handle so they become angry and resistant to manage the feelings. Their anger and resistance may show up in others areas that cause problems for them and for you.

While your partner may scurry around to try to please you and get you to reconnect with him or her, the fact that you have so deeply disconnected creates feelings of heartache in your partner that may eventually lead to the end of the relationship. What seems to work for the moment may lead to exactly what you don’t want in the long run.

WHEN YOUR PARTNER IS PUNISHING YOU WITH THE SILENT TREATMENT
What goes on inside you when your partner shuts down to you?

* Do you tell yourself you must have done something wrong?
* Do you feel a sense of loneliness and heartache that feels unbearable?
* Do you feel alone and abandoned inside?
* Do you feel anxious and scared?

If you feel any of these, it is really because you are abandoning yourself and making your partner responsible for you. It is you doing this that is allowing the silent treatment to work to control you.

If you were taking loving care of yourself and taking 100 responsibility for your own feelings, here is what would be going on inside:

* You would be telling yourself: My partner is choosing to punish me rather than take responsibility for his or her feelings. Whatever I may or may not have done that he or she doesn’t like, I am not responsible for how he or she is dealing with it, and I have no control over him or her.

* You would be bringing love inside, letting yourself know that you are a good person and deserving of love.

* You would get out of range of your partner’s energy taking a walk, reading a book, calling a friend, or doing something else to make yourself happy.

* You would keep your own heart open, not going into anger or judgment toward your partner, so that when your partner decides to open again, there is no residue for you. You would not punish your partner for trying to punish you. You would just make sure that their punishment doesn’t work for them.

* You would embrace your loneliness and heartache with deep compassion for yourself, sitting with these feelings for a few minutes and then releasing them to Spirit.

Eventually, when you are truly taking loving care of yourself, others will stop using the silent treatment, since it will no longer work for them.

About the Author: Margaret Paul, Ph.D., best-selling author of 8 books, co-creator of the powerful Inner Bonding® healing process. Join thousands who have discovered real love and intimacy! Learn Inner Bonding now! FREE Inner Bonding course: http://www.innerbonding.com/welcome/relationship_help.html. Phone Sessions. Article Source: ActiveAuthors.com

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Proposing Marriage at Christmas is Old Hat – What About Thanksgiving?: by Lawrence Reaves

One man related the tale of how he proposed on Christmas Day and arranged the marriage for New Years Day – “How romantic!”, you hear people claim, but the real reason was because he had a terrible memory for dates and was already in annual trouble for forgetting his other half’s birthday. Not wishing to forget their wedding anniversary, he made sure it was held on a memorable date so he’d never forget!

Perhaps this is one reason why Christmas and New Year proposals and wedding dates are so popular today. The romanticism of New Year’s is obvious with the clock winding down for midnight and emotions and expectations running so high for the New Year. Christmas is just as bad with all that mistletoe hanging around just waiting for opportunists to launch a romantic ambush.

This said, using your imagination is vitally important in any relationship and especially marriage! It pays to exercise some creativity when you are considering a proposal because not only do you want it to be memorable for both of you, but you also want to stand out from the crowd.

If everyone else is getting swept away with Yuletide spirits, that leaves the rest of the year open for something much more unique and therefore, more special. Using other dates to propose, wed or celebrate also makes life much less expensive; it stands to plain reason that you will be able to hire a venue at much reduced rates outside of December when company and family parties are booking everything hotel, restaurant and club in sight which raises the price. The same can be said for any other marriage related activity as it is one of the most busy times of the year all round.

Thanksgiving is soon to be upon us and is a time when most American families get together; indeed, many families only get together in such an intimate fashion at this time of year with other, extended family commitments pulling many people away from their own blood relations. If you want to make your proposal or celebrate nuptials in front of the entire family, this is one of the best dates to get down on one knee or walk down the aisle.

Catering and venue availability is also going to be much more likely to be available giving you a wider choice and a reduced cost. As you are booking outside of the busy December period you can expect to get much more for your wedding budget. Thanksgiving is a popular American holiday but it does not dominate the year the way Christmas and New Years does. Planning your wedding or engagement celebration at this time of the year means it is unlikely to get lost in the whirl of social calendar events that are marked in all over December for most people.

There is also the simple reality that for many people, Christmas and New Years is a time when they want to be with their family, especially if they have children. Putting a major event, such as a wedding, onto already busy and committed friends and family members may actually mean that your Christmas nuptials are not attended by as many of your close friends and family as you may have hoped for. Thanksgiving gives as many people as possible the opportunity for them to attend without the sacrifice but with the cost savings you are likely to benefit from, you will have the budget to cater for them too.

About the Author: Lawrence Reaves, writing about wedding ring sets, engagement rings and fine jewelry. Danforth Diamond provides wisdom and advice to help you choose the right ring at the right price. Visit http://www.DanforthDiamond.com or call 877.404.RING

Article Source: ActiveAuthors.com

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